Dear Microsoft, A Break Up Letter.

Dear Microsoft,

I’ve put this off for far too long.  The time has come for us to part our ways. I know, I know, you didn’t see this coming, as evidenced by the blue stare on your face. But really, how could you have not?  You saw me listening to music with her, and even traded tunes.  I would spend 9 hours a day with you, but the whole time was thinking about her crisp touch display and browsing endless webpages (sans flash) at night.  Didn’t you realize something was up when on many a car ride I’d be on the phone with her while you just sat in my bag.  You said I could talk on you too, but who are we kidding, too little, too late. I’d like to say it’s me, not you, but really, we both know that’s not true. It’s always been you.

We had our ups and downs, but something was always missing.  You would try to meet my needs, but really just left me wanting more.  You complicated things that didn’t need to be complicated.  You’d leave the window open and other people would come in and play with my stuff.  Let’s not even start on how many times you brought home a virus. The things I would do to make you feel better, so much time wasted.

We did have some good times, 98 was very memorable. I’ll always remember watching movies together in my dorm room.  You showed me how to wield a taskbar and I introduced you to Napster. We had a lot of great eXPeriences, but sometimes you can have to much of a good thing. You thought changing your looks for me was important, but all I wanted was for you to work.

I do have to thank you.  If not for you, I would never have gotten into this career. Yet, your biggest flaw was trying to please too many people.  You left yourself open to be taken advantage of, and I was there to pick up the pieces. But enough is enough. I’m ready for someone who is there for me, not for the world.

I have tasted the forbidden fruit, but you are not my God.  The Apple is sweet, and my eyes are now open.  How could I have been so blind?  This is what I’ve wanted for so long. I hope we can still be friends, but our relationship, as we have known it, is over.

Sincerely,

Matt

One comment

  1. Jenny · March 16, 2011

    Oh my stars! Best.breakup.letter.EVER!

    Love me some Apple!

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